“Connecting for Success”
One of the most important things I have learned when I first started supporting struggling students is that connecting is everything. When trying to connect to students who have built up thick, towering, stone-laden walls meant to repel even the most valiant attempts at support, you have to get creative in your approach. Just because a student is struggling academically does not mean your approach has to be all academic. The same applies for students struggling with behavior, attendance, or other issues. Chances are, the student has been inundated with conversations about “their problem,” and, “how do we fix this?” The best way to reach out to this student is to give them a break from the conversations about their inadequacies.
Use the rare opportunity of your first impressions to talk about non-school related topics and get to know the student. Go for a walk around your school’s campus and have a conversation. Let the student show you or talk to you about a hobby or interest they have. Take the student to the gym or outside for an activity. Show the student that you are there to support them, not just as a repairman to fix “their problem.”
I have also used these opportunities to foster a sense of ownership for students which, in turn, helped to solidify our relationship. For example, one of my favorite ways to “break the ice” and get to know my students is to ask for their help in designing the room layout, a bulletin board, a word wall, etc. Ask for their help and input, validate it, and use it. It is amazing to see how much more students get into cleaning up the room at the end of the day, or putting words up on the word wall when they have had input into the process. What is even more amazing is seeing that positive influence on other students when they want to join in and be part of it too. For example, I have a positive behavior word wall that I started with just one student as a sort of ice-breaker activity. Within two weeks, each one of the students I worked with from grades 6-8 wanted to be part of the word wall and was going out of their way to come up with their own words and participate.
Once your student sees you as a support and you have established a solid relationship, the sky is the limit. Use your new-found knowledge of that student to help them achieve success. Their path getting there may not be the same as other students, which is fine, if it were the same they would not have needed the additional support in the first place.
Relationships between students and teachers are essential for learning. Unfortunately, sometimes we allow our ego's and desire for control to get in the way of those relationships from evolving and flourishing. If we own ALL kids, just because one student and I do not connect, doesn't mean there isn't another adult in the building whom can help them to see value in effort and learning. Along with the importance of relationships is truly knowing and valuing the students and their strengths. Providing meaningful feedback in ways that make sense for the child, providing and supporting the right paths for learning. The one size fits all classroom, the one size fits all assignment, the lack of student choice and autonomy all get in the way of students individual needs and can deteriorate relationships with a teacher.
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